Fnord.

On the topic of bottled water:

…but the current campaign against paying good money for bottled water when tap water is perfectly good (and very likely purer) is so sensible on the face of it that I am now done with you. Fini. Kaput. Ausgeschlossen. No more designer water. Water is water. If you want lemon flavoring, add a slice of lemon. You want bubbles, stick a straw in it and blow.
…
No, San Pellegrino and Perrier got rich off the pretensions of liberal wastrels like moi who thought it set us apart from the unlettered masses. We ordered it in restaurants for the same reason we read books we don’t like and go to operas we don’t understand — we say to the waiter, “Perrier,” to give a continental touch to our macaroni and cheese.

and more:

So now I wonder, “What else am I doing that is too dumb for words?” A woman leaned over to me the other night and said, “You’d look so much better with your eyebrows trimmed.” This is just the sort of advice a man yearns for — you don’t want to be walking around with eyebrows the size of sparrows for the rest of your life.
…
I gave up watching television 25 years ago because I liked it so much even though I couldn’t remember what I had watched the day before and could see that if I went on as a viewer my life would become a blank. And now I refuse the iPod because it is an audio bubble that shuts you off from the world, which is where good ideas come from.

Reform feels good, take it from me. To correct course and avoid the reef and find clear sailing is the great tonic of life. A man grows a beard for the pleasure of cutting it off. And now I have the pleasure of boycotting bottled water for tap.

and he then proceeds to tie it all together into a stick-the-landing conclusion:

And now, if liberals can cut consumption of foreign water, then maybe conservatives can start to face up to the disaster they visited on this country with the election of the Current Occupant. None of the current Republican hopefuls can quite bring himself to do this. Face it. When you push an incompetent frat boy on the country, what you get is what has happened. Republicans prize loyalty above all things, so the Republican Congress carried the White House water for years, not bothering with any sort of oversight, but loyalty to the Occupant now is like marriage to a drunk, a very iffy proposition. If they can’t get a grasp on this, the Republicans can’t win in 2008.

I do love him sometimes. The full essay is well worth enduring the Salon ads. Or just pay the thirty bucks per year; I find it worthwhile.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 27th, 2007 at 11:31 am and is filed under Essays - other people, Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.